A friend came over last night with some poetry, which I normally don’t care for, but ”Self Portrait at 28” by David Berman was lovely. Many people seem to be moving on and elsewhere, and though I’m pretty content with my life right now, I still feel constant, upwelling urgency. I think it’s really a compulsion to write.
I get worried about all the things I’m not doing and should be doing, but don’t pay enough attention to what I have accomplished, what I do well, or what I don’t need to change. I thought it’d be a good exercise to make of list of Things Resolved rather than my perpetual, discouraging list of resolutions (and I’d share this with you, except it’s pretty self-indulgent).
Not the winter of discontent, but of best friends and financial independence!
T-Wayne capping off 2008!
Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Keisha Cole, some other fools.
Right across Best Friends’ Street!!!
Anne made her parents the most, most, most beautiful windmill quilt for Christmas.
Girls’ Night shots with only one chaser to share/compete for.
Before the New Year’s Eve feast (caprise salad, couscous with pinenuts, roasted green beans, “chicken” in a cranberry sauce, and raspberry-champagne sorbet).
The Helper, the Challenger, the Defeated.
DK in town :D
Sweethearts right before midnight.
The New Year fire.
I found a sweet, buff-colored ocelot stray … but not as beautiful as my sweet bid (& new porcelain TV lamp).
Brandon and I woke up to watch the sunrise – a rose-colored cloud, then suddenly a disappointing, dim day with no ceremony.
Anne’s birthday weekend at the beach.
Seasonal splendor at 3130 Best Friends’ Street.
I just got these developed. Brian and my Blue Ridge weekend in the fall.
Brian as a human mountain range.
And a new year survey! Because the internet doesn’t know enough about me already.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | Blood-related abnormalities, especially clots, strokes, hemorrhages and varicose veins.
02 | People breaking into my house while I’m there.
03 | Merging & car accidents.
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | Meeting genuine people, then cooking for them.
02 | English professors, finishing books, migrating further and further from feelings of inadequacy with self-education and doing as learning.
03 | Soul food & southern rap.
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | Pretentiousness, especially from white dudes.
02 | Feeling trapped, even in a good situation.
03 | When I’m not remembered.
THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
01 | Quantum physics, black holes, light years.
02 | Some political theory, but especially theoreticians.
03 | Lots of technology.
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | A ship in a bottle.
02 | A scanner.
03 | A picture of my parents circa 1979.
THREE SONGS YOU LOVE:
01 | Meadowlark – the Fleet Foxes
02 | In Metal – Low
03 | My Arms Stay Open Late – Tammy Wynette
THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | Getting ready to go swimming.
02 | Reading the Heart is a Lonely Hunter, oh my god.
03 | Getting mentally ready for NYC! Saturday morning – Wednesday night.
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Have children.
02 | Move to a (few) different country(ies).
03 | Do something substantial. I think that means write a book, but maybe I could do more meaningful lifework.
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO THIS YEAR:
01 | Fulfill my ever-shifting personal resolutions.
02 | Run a mini marathon (like a 10K).
03 | Take a darkroom class / bind my own book / make a quilt / build a garden (already have bell peppers, basil, spinach and toms growing).
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | Remember lots of details, while also managing to be one of the most oblivious people you’ll ever meet. But it’s a constant comedy of errors.
02 | Learn very quickly, as long as the task at hand is creative/organic and not too rule-governed. But if there are work-arounds I can do that too.
03 | Commitment.
THREE THINGS I HATE ABOUT MYSELF:
01 | I’m conflicted over a lot of my choices and generally hold myself accountable to a lot of people, which is confining.
02 | I also am getting much better about this. I’m defensive, but I must ask myself: would you rather be right or happy?
03 | Although I don’t get criticized outright very much, I think I take implied criticism way too seriously. Again, my problems with accountability.
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | Sincere.
02 | Curious.
03 | Recently it’s been straight-up merry.
THREE THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD DO:
01 | Play an instrument.
02 | Speak Spanish more fluently and figure out a way to be south of the border wayyyy more.
03 | Be more disciplined or more happy with myself.
THREE THINGS YOU DO DAILY:
01 | Have a cup of coffee.
02 | Snuggle with the cats and Anne.
03 | Think about the best ways to spend my time.
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | Mutable countenance.
02 | Crazy pale eyes.
03 | Absorbed in something else-looking.
THREE THINGS I LOVE TO WEAR:
01 | Lots of navy, gray, brown, black and burgundy.
02 | Poorly built shoes with almost no sole support.
03 | Plain-ass mommy (but not really matronly) clothes. Lots of cardigans.
THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
01 | Cave-in and buy new, better versions of what I have. So I still have the same computer on a walker, a busted discman with only one working headphone, a temperamental microwave, my roommate’s Bianchi, my sad-excuse for a digi camera, and the shoes – always the shoes.
02 | Go to a bar by myself without plans to meet someone there. But why would I want to.
03 | Despite one of my year goals, I could not run a marathon without stopping & walking intermittently. A 10K would be seriously pushing it.
THREE BANDS/ARTISTS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | If it strikes me as a band I think you should listen to, I will tell you individually, but there isn’t a catch-all I’d recommend.
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | Sushi.
02 | Pumpkin / banana bread.
03 | Salmon.
THREE THINGS I WORRY ABOUT:
01 | Not making the most of opportunities.
02 | Getting trapped.
03 | Not meeting people. Not in the sense of a missed connections, but I don’t meet as many new people as I’ve found a solid little circle of friends that I spend most of my time with.
THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | How to operate a large sailboat.
02 | The entirety of all Sociolinguistics graduate courses.
03 | Basic car and house maintenance. Carpentry.
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | Coffee.
02 | Water.
03 | Red wine.
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | Wonder Years.
02 | Merrie Melodies.
03 | Pop-up videos.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES:
01 | Midnight Cowboy.
02 | The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
03 | The Wizard of Oz.
THREE PEOPLE YOU ARE ENVIOUS OF:
01 | Anyone with enough time & money to be traveling indefinitely around the US right now.
02 | Helena for her daring.
03 | Oona Chaplin, Nora Joyce, Vera Nabokov, and for different reasons Zooey Deschanel.